Many of us are taught to toughen up or slap on a smile whether we feel like it or not. Yet, mental health experts will tell you this is not the best way to manage stress.
Why is your favorite Louisiana realtor writing about mental health? Because I have loved ones with special mental health needs. I have gone through depression myself. And, I know that moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life. I witness it all the time!
Why is moving so stressful?
You may have heard that moving itself is a stressful event. But, many of the most common reasons people move in the first place are super stressful. For example, the death of a loved one, divorce, pregnancy, marriage, or a change at work.
A study conducted by Dartmouth College created a Life Change Index Scale. The scale assigns values ranging from 0-100 for stress related to major life changes. Here are just a few of the common stressors on that scale and their assigned stress values:
Change in financial state - 38
Mortgage over $20,000 - 31
Outstanding personal achievement - 28
Change in living conditions - 25
Revisions of personal habits - 24
Add them up, and you've got a Life Change Index of more than 140; more stressful than the death of a spouse (100) or divorce (74).
According to the team that created the index, 37% of test subjects with changes totaling 150-200 points -within a three to six-month period - became ill. Almost 80% who scored 300 or more became ill. It's critical that when you move, you not only take care of your people, your things, your money, but yourself!
What can you do about it?
Despite all of the above, we still choose to move. Why? Moving is a positive thing! A new home often means new opportunities. When my clients pursue property, I recognize, that they're really in pursuit of a new goal or dream. It's an exciting time! They get opportunities. I get to help. We GET to move. Yay!!!
I love helping people navigate a move. I moved more than five times before I was ten years old. Every time we moved, my parents had us envision the move as a fun new adventure. Two of those early moves were to England. It's there I learned the saying, 'keep a stiff upper lip.' I'd move another 15+ times in my life. It's through these moves, that I learned positive 'adventurer' mindset is good, but faking that you're OK is not. Proceed with caution, a stiff upper lip can lead to a total melt down.
FIVE WAYS TO MINIMIZE MOVING STRESS
My clients who seem to handle moving stress best have a few things in common. It starts with mindset and ends with three words. STOP. FAKING. IT.
1. Acknowledge It Will Happen - You WILL be stressed, and that's OK. It happens to everyone. You're normal. It's not a competition. You don't have to remain calm. No one is keeping points. Know that stress will happen. Know that it's normal. Everyone goes through this. No one is perfect. Not even you.
Now that we got that out of the way!
Know the symptoms for when you're index is getting high. For me, it's a scratchy throat and a strong desire to Netflix binge. Name it. I like the term 'stress monster.' Tell someone who cares about you. 'Stress monster is on the loose!' And, know it's 100% OK not to be 100% OK.
2. Communicate - It's tempting to tell no one about your big purchase. What if my boss thinks I won't be tuned in at work? What if it doesn't work out? Besides, won't it be grand to surprise everyone by suddenly announcing that I've got keys to a new place? Maybe.
Lots of my clients feel this way and I see this all the time.
What I've learned is that it's tough to manage stress without a social confidant. It's hard to manage work when you can't manage telling anyone about your life changes. So, if your move doesn't require secrecy, don't make it secret on the level of the witness protection program. Confide in people you feel safe with. Let them know when your 'stress monster' is lurking about. Consider talk therapy with a professional throughout your move. And, remember your BFF may have their own feelings to process with your move, and that's OK too.
3. Self Care - Need help to step outside of the glass box of emotions and combat that stress monster? This will sound goofy but bear with me.
BEFORE YOU START TO MOVE. Write down 5-10 actions that make you happy - and less stressed - on 5-10 pieces of paper. Then put them in a coffee mug, pretty jar, or another container. I've seen this done with a Crown Royal bag, no joke.
When stress happens, pull out one of the pieces of paper at random. Stop what you're doing. Take the action on that piece of paper. Don't just treat yourself to a new home, be kind to yourself throughout the process. This may sound silly, but do it, you'll thank me later, promise.
Ideas include a massage, a bike ride, baking, meditation, prayer, hiking. My favorite is dancing with my pets like no one is watching.
4. Have A Plan & Work The Plan - Most people underestimate how much it takes to move. They almost always think they have less stuff than they do. They'll need a smaller truck—half as many boxes.
I hear, 'I'll just get all this done over the weekend,' ALOT!
STOP! Plot out a timeline. Double the days you think you'll need. Phone friends and hire help if you can. Build some grace into that plan. Include time to love on yourself even if it's just one designated day a week. Schedule a quick getaway before or after the inspection or after the movers come. It'll help loads.
And when all else fails, go back to that exciting reason you're moving in the first place. How good it will feel on the other side, and hold on tight!
5. Work With A Great Realtor - Any realtor worth their salt not only plays occasional counselor but enjoys it... it's an honor. We've seen the flip-outs, the freak-outs, the chewed nails, and family arguments before. We get it. We know that it happens. We won't tell.
We're here for you. We can help. How?
I help clients build a plan that blocks and tackles the steps to sell and move.
I connect clients with helpful and reputable movers, packers, move strategists, and cleaners.
I proactively check in with my clients to see how they're doing and loop in their loved ones (with permission, of course).
I don't judge.
I listen.
So there you have it. Five witnessed, tried, and true ways to keep you mentally healthy (or at least healthier) during your next move. The first is the most important. Get your mind ready, accept that you're human and that stress monster won't stand much of a chance.
Are you thinking of moving? Stressed about what's ahead? I've got you. You can count on Cool!
Voted Neighborhood Favorite by Nextdoor, Team Cool Murphy is a top-producing, licensed real estate team based in New Orleans, brokered by Cool Murphy, LLC.
Celebrated for her next-level creative approach to real estate, Elisa Cool Murphy is an award-winning, top-performing agent in New Orleans and the founder and leader of Cool Murphy, LLC.
Contact Her -
email: cool@coolmurphy.com
Facebook: @homeinneworleans
IG: @coolmurphynola
YouTube: @coolmurphynola
phone: 504-321-3194
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