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Sara Skjerli

3 Reasons Couples Bail On Their Home Search

Updated: Jun 19



Has the excitement of finding your dream home started to lose its sparkle? There comes a time in most homebuyers' journeys when decision and search fatigue sets in and the dream of thriving in your new home gets harder and harder to muster.


This is especially true for couples.


Some couples chose between keeping the spark alive in their search or keeping it alive in their relationship. They bow out of the search and the home buying process gets put off till next year, and then the next, and so on and so forth.


But, It doesn't have to.



Here are three things couples often overlook that costs them time, stress, and their home search:


1. Your individual visions are not clearly defined. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking we know what someone likes or wants, because we know them so well. We hear it all the time. "I know he would love this!" or "I like it but I know my husband won't agree..."


But the simple truth is we are often wrong about what someone else wants. Yes, even the people we share a life, home, and a bed with. We are not mind readers and cannot see what someone else envisions unless they show us.


Clearly communicating your individual vision is the first step to getting on the same page. And you must be on the same page to find your dream home… even if you think you already know.



2. Misunderstanding your partner's vision or goals for your new home. Unless you and your partner's visions are both clearly defined and then fused into one shared vision, finding a home that you both love is like throwing puzzle pieces in the air and hoping they land back in their place.

For example your idea of "we're not afraid of putting in a little work," when it comes to updates and repairs may be very different from your partners.


This is especially true when the non-handy partner is intimidated by a project when their partner may be up for the challenge. It's especially tense when the less handy partner volunteers their significant other to put in hours and hours of work on a project house.


They tell their Realtor the house has promise and end up bickering amongst themselves the rest of the day.



3. Burn out from the decision fatigue. There are diminishing returns on home tours. The more days you go looking (showings or open houses) the more stimulus you take in. The over stimulation of looking at so many different homes wears down even the most driven buyer. And, it sets up avoidable misunderstandings and arguments "this could work if we..." or "if only this home was in that neighborhood."


Your brain starts cobbling together all the stimuli into a fictitious house that likely doesn't exist or match your original goals.


When your vision is clear from the beginning you can better articulate a shared and finite list of what you know what you like, need, and want in a home. You'll save time and headspace and avoid trying to force yourself to like place that does not fit your lifestyle and homeownership goals.



There is hope!

I love working with couples. Half the work is getting aligned and focused. I've come to learn this after working with all types of couples in all types of relationships.



It's led me to see the need for, and the insights to create a proprietary system. A system that helps even the most introverted among us can feel comfortable sharing their vision. And, it helps couples articulate and define mutually agreed upon goals, visions, and boundaries before moving forward in a search.


The result? A more efficient search, less drama, and couples who still like - no love - each other at the closing table.


Call or message me today and let’s bring the sparkle back into your home buying experience! We'll keep the spark alive in your relationship too!


 

Sara Skjerli is a licensed Realtor in the State of Louisiana and a member of Team Cool Murphy. Voted Neighborhood Favorite by Nextdoor, Team Cool Murphy is a top-producing, licensed real estate team based in New Orleans, brokered by Cool Murphy LLC.


She believes home is the most important four-letter word in the English language and is passionate about fair housing. Her specialties include negotiations, conflict resolution, and helping buyers of all walks of life find solutions to help them live in a home they love. You can learn more about her here.


Cell: (860) 208-0505

Email: sara@coolmurphy.com

Instagram + Facebook: @neurodivergentagent

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